DAY 7

I got my Bible back this morning. As soon as I had brought everything upstairs I sat down in my jumble of art supplies and started to pray and read. I am still sitting in the middle of the mess even as I write. There were a few things from my reading that I wanted to share with my dear ones here while it is still fresh in my mind.


When I closed my prayers, I asked GOD to show me where I should read. It had been so long since I had turned to the scriptures that I didn’t know where to start. Not surprisingly, he led me right to my favorite book: Romans. My ribbon was placed in Romans 8 and verse 20 just seemed to jump off the page (and not only because it was written in bold print).

I was found by those who were not looking for Me; I revealed Myself to those who were not asking for Me. {Romans 8:20 and Isaiah 65:1}

A month ago I was certainly not looking for GOD. I was doing my very best to look away from him. Even thought I knew the scriptures and was occasionally appalled at my own actions, I was bound and determined to make life work my way. I was tired of seeing people who I knew gave GOD no thought at all doing (what I perceived as) better in life than I was, while I struggled along trying to live a holy life and seemed to get nowhere. Most of all, I saw the loss of my children as a direct assault against me from GOD. Yes, my logical mind knew that they were safe with my parents, but my heart said that the separation hurt too much and was unfair. I had done everything I had been told to do in order to keep them and had still lost.

In July, I was at my parents spending a week with the children. Even then I was struggling. Just watching them and knowing that this one week was just a moment in their small but ever changing lives was heartbreaking. Holding them was bittersweet, because I knew that it was soon going to end and my arms would once again be empty. Over and over that week, I told GOD it was unfair. I told HIM I was angry with HIM. I asked HIM why. There didn’t seem to be any answer. Then, the day before I was suppose to leave my youngest came up to me with a gift. It was a beaded key chain that read “God is loving.” To be completely honest, I didn’t want it. Holding it in my hand I thought rather hatefully “it’s not true,” but because it was a gift from my baby bug I had to accept it. In the pretense of packing I stuffed that key chain way down in my bag and tried to forget it, but GOD had sent me a message and he wasn’t about to let me ignore it. That key chain wore on my mind. I found that I just couldn’t forget it. Finally I said to GOD, “My baby bug says that you are loving. I don’t feel it. Please, show me.”

LORD, our Lord, how magnificent is Your name throughout the earth! You have covered the heavens with Your majesty! Because of Your adversaries, You have established a stronghold! from the mouths of children and nursing infants, to silence the enemy and the avenger. {Psalm 8:1-2}

After that the whole world started changing. I started to see GODS love in so many areas in my life and in all the little things that I had been taking for granite. Now I can once again say, that yes, GOD is loving and he does have my best interest at heart. I am constantly reminded of a quote by Charles Spurgen: “GOD is too wise to be mistaken. GOD is too good to be unkind. And when you can’t trace HIS hand, trust HIS heart.”

There were so many other things I wanted to share with you today, but I have already been long winded. If like me, you are hurting, please read Isaiah 65 and take heart in the New Creation to come. A time when we will not know pain or even be able to remember the struggles of the past is coming. GOD has promised and GOD always keeps his promises. As for me, this is the person I will endeavor to be until that time…

This is, the LORD’s declaration. I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and who trembles at MY word. {Isaiah 66: 2b}